The Baconator. I can't bring myself to keep writing that so from now on it is just "B". I also don't deem it worthy enough for a review. So it will live here in my blog.
I sat excitedly in the drive through lane at the Culver City Wendy's with a nervous twitch. Anxiously awaiting the bacony bliss that was only moments away. Separated by bricks and plaster and the crafty hands of some ex-bean farming south-of-the-border meat handler; was my only road block. Patience I must have.
Finally I pulled forward and placed my order as if declaring the cure to all cancers. "$4.52" the little box barked back, I ordered a Frosty too. I pull around and already waiting for me at the window is a bag dangling out the window. Taunting me to reach for it. I did think about stopping the car and just jumping for it, but soon realized that would be foolish. So I stayed put. I received the package like any normal person but right away I knew something dark was at hand.
Utter let down...
As soon as I snatched it from the hands of the border bunny I was crushed internally by the utter lack of weight. The bag had no mass. Forget fearing I'd need both hands and a forklift to receive it, it didn't even come close to the weight of the "classic double" with cheese! PUNY!
I pulled away in disapointment. I unwraped it and was presented with the standard amount of sticky festering cheese paper we've all come to love but nothing much else. No lettuce, tomato and the grilled onions were scant at best. But most of all the bacon. Where was it? Oh the irony of the chain who pioneered, 'Where's the Beef?", hey, "Where's the Bacon?" WENDYS???
What was there was soggy and lifeless, truly sickening. None of the cripsy goodness one would expect. Six strips of used floppy condoms is all I really saw. Granted with a sizzling red coloring. Whatever.
I cannot suggest this excuse for a bacon cheeseburger. It is not bliss, it is shit. The B is simply an excuse to run through old stale meat that was going to expire in their main warehouse. My suggestion..flush it.
