Okay look I am not depressed. At least not in a way that you might all think. I don't lament over being fat, over the loss of someone close, job, money or even family.
No I get depressed over things that I think I should have or had and then lost. But more ideas than physical things. Depressed over "ideas" lost. Looking back at old photos really is Q kryptonite. I don't know why I do that to myself. I see ideas from the past that really tear in to me in ways that break down the wall I have built around me.
I wish so much that I could pull back those ideas, those versions from my past but I cannot. I have tried but I've tired of trying, it just doesn't work. So I come here and fire off some thoughts in my blog. Maybe one of you out there knows what I am talking about and will leave a comment or email me. Maybe that's what this is best for, this blog.
back seat racing
thanks